Getting Back to the Basics

I grew up writing poetry. I had books and books of things that I had written. I loved sitting down and reading some of the older stuff. I lost all of my poetry in an apartment fire in 2006. I don’t think I’ve written since then. Every time I would think about losing all of my writing, it would hurt.

I’ve decided to start again. I’m getting back to the basics.

Writing gives me a certain release that I can’t get anywhere else. I can say what I really feel and it comes out much clearer than if I try to speak the words.

Here is my first poem in over 8 years:

ToBeStrong

What Are You Thankful For Today?

I am thankful for:

My health

My family’s safety

My son who makes me proud

My new car!

My new bed!

My new Job!!

People in my life who care about me

My working computer

My refrigerator full of food

My ability to pay my bills every month

Don’t EVER let anyone tell you that God isn’t good!

 

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Lord, Please.

I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes on my birthday. I’m so grateful for everything God has blessed me with and God I’m so sorry for feeling sad on this day. I’m missing the love I had in my life. I’m missing the future we had planned. I hate that I’m hurting. I hate that I’m alone.

Lord, please take this pain away.

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My New Car and God’s Direction

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For those who don’t know: I got a new car over the weekend!! After 8 long years of riding the bus,  we finally have our own wheels again! God is so good!! Unless you’ve been without a car for a period of time, you have no idea how many doors this opens up for Mel and I; small things that most people take for granted, like going to the grocery store whenever you need to…being able to FINALLY go to Half Price Books and get rid of these 2 boxes of books that have been sitting in my living room for the last year!

When Ramel and I moved to Texas back in 2006, we had to junk our car. It was 11 years old and the transmission had gone out for the 2nd time. We had suffered an apartment fire and could not stay in Nashville without a car.That city didn’t have buses like Dallas.

We sold everything we had left, packed our bags and got on a greyhound bus headed for Dallas to stay with my niece and sister until we could get back on our feet. Since then, Ramel and I have been trying to piece our lives back together from nothing,

My new job…our new car….these things mean more to me than you can ever know. God has brought us through SO many heartaches and disappointments! Lord, please give me the discernment to see the things that I need to see. Help me to stay focused on You and where I’m trying to take the next portion of my life. Show me where you want me and give me my passion back for what’s in my heart. Show me the right direction.

Losing Love and Gaining Myself

I was in the 99cent Store this morning around 9 am and I was brought to tears. No one noticed. I didn’t break down or anything,but cried, I did. In the store.

When you love someone, you take a chance. You put your heart in their hands and you hope and wish they do the right thing with it. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. But is loving someone worth the heartache? Worth the chance? YES.

I’m single right now after a 3 year relationship, but I loved and I loved strong…and hard…and with everything I had. I don’t regret that. I laughed, I cried and I grew.

Lord, I trust that You know what’s best for me. I’m so grateful for my time in that relationship. I learned to love myself and I learned that I was worthy of love as well. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am smart.

…and I learned those things because of that relationship.

Now that it’s over, it’s time for me to go onto my next journey and love again. Will I? Certainly.

God knows it’s my hearts desire to share my life with someone, but right now, I’ve just decided to do something I’ve never really done before: DATE.

I’m not really looking for love. I have that already. I just want to enjoy my future and be the woman I was meant to be. FINALLY.

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