Waiting on God: Not an Easy Thing

I have officially started my new schedule! God is good!

I see His hand in everything around me and I am very thankful that alot of times He doesn’t give me the chance to mess things up!

I have to refocus on my health and I have already jump started that! Beginning work after so many years threw me off alittle, but now that I’ve been working going on 6 months, I can get a grip on a routine and get moving!

Ramel is doing fine. 17 now with pierced ears! We are both moving into new chapters in our lives. Lord, you know my hearts desires and you are bringing them to pass. Please give me the patience to wait on you and to hear your voice when it says MOVE.

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God, I See You Moving!

Thank you Lord for this day. I may be alittle tired, but I’m hanging in there.

Work is coming along just fine and life is moving on. I see God’s hands in my life everyday and I am thankful for that! Without God, I don’t even think I could wake up and function sometimes!

I see God moving by looking at the people he is introducing me to. People with like minds. People with a future. People who are trying to do things.

I just wanted to hop on here and say Thank you Lord. I love you.

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2015 And Thankfulness

In 2014, my life has gone through so many changes. A year ago this time, my life looked very different. Some changes were drastic and others were pretty simple, but all of them were very necessary.

I’m thankful for the friends who have stood by me and helped me get through the tough times. Sometimes, when I think about how good God has been to me, I can’t do anything but shake my head. I don’t deserve His goodness, but I am so grateful for it. Every step of the way He has been with Mel and I, protecting us and making sure that we have all that we need.

I am thankful for Mel’s Big Couple, Patrick and Monika, my family and everything that has been placed in my life over this last year. God knows what He’s doing and I trust Him.

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2014 in review!!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,400 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 40 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

The Reality of it Is…

The Reality of it is:

I’m back to work after 10 years of being at home.

I’m FULL TIME after 10 years of being AT HOME.

I am a type 2 diabetic.

I suffer from PTSD and Depression

I’ve just recently gotten my heart broken

and I’m stepping into a new level of life.

Know what? I’m tired. Mentally and physically, sometimes I feel exhausted. I have my UP days and when I do, I really enjoy the feeling. The DOWN days are hard…excruciating really.

Lord, please show me the little things I can start doing to get my health under control. I know that will go a long way to making me feel better mentally. I need you Jesus. I can’t do any of this alone. Thank you for bringing me this far. I know you won’t leave me.

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Getting Back to the Basics

I grew up writing poetry. I had books and books of things that I had written. I loved sitting down and reading some of the older stuff. I lost all of my poetry in an apartment fire in 2006. I don’t think I’ve written since then. Every time I would think about losing all of my writing, it would hurt.

I’ve decided to start again. I’m getting back to the basics.

Writing gives me a certain release that I can’t get anywhere else. I can say what I really feel and it comes out much clearer than if I try to speak the words.

Here is my first poem in over 8 years:

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What Are You Thankful For Today?

I am thankful for:

My health

My family’s safety

My son who makes me proud

My new car!

My new bed!

My new Job!!

People in my life who care about me

My working computer

My refrigerator full of food

My ability to pay my bills every month

Don’t EVER let anyone tell you that God isn’t good!

 

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Lord, Please.

I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes on my birthday. I’m so grateful for everything God has blessed me with and God I’m so sorry for feeling sad on this day. I’m missing the love I had in my life. I’m missing the future we had planned. I hate that I’m hurting. I hate that I’m alone.

Lord, please take this pain away.

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My New Car and God’s Direction

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For those who don’t know: I got a new car over the weekend!! After 8 long years of riding the bus,  we finally have our own wheels again! God is so good!! Unless you’ve been without a car for a period of time, you have no idea how many doors this opens up for Mel and I; small things that most people take for granted, like going to the grocery store whenever you need to…being able to FINALLY go to Half Price Books and get rid of these 2 boxes of books that have been sitting in my living room for the last year!

When Ramel and I moved to Texas back in 2006, we had to junk our car. It was 11 years old and the transmission had gone out for the 2nd time. We had suffered an apartment fire and could not stay in Nashville without a car.That city didn’t have buses like Dallas.

We sold everything we had left, packed our bags and got on a greyhound bus headed for Dallas to stay with my niece and sister until we could get back on our feet. Since then, Ramel and I have been trying to piece our lives back together from nothing,

My new job…our new car….these things mean more to me than you can ever know. God has brought us through SO many heartaches and disappointments! Lord, please give me the discernment to see the things that I need to see. Help me to stay focused on You and where I’m trying to take the next portion of my life. Show me where you want me and give me my passion back for what’s in my heart. Show me the right direction.